My advice to you would be just don’t make any extra effort to deal with parents. Treat your parents with respect and mind your own business. You can’t make people understand you. You can’t force them to like your choices.
The only thing you can do is, create your own life to the best of your ability. Find like-minded people all along the way and from a strong network of friends.
In short, you should find your tribe. Love your parents for who they are. Always appreciate whatever your parents did for you and they continue to do for you. I am sure they must be having their own reasons.
Treat your parents with respect, but, never expect them to understand you.
With your parents, you should have a relationship of “Expect nothing and Accept everything”
Your parents will never understand you, especially, if and when you are evolving beyond their capacity. Because it would be very difficult for them to comprehend who you are and what you are doing and why you are making such choices in life.
You will be exposed to several different situations in your life than your parents.
Your mindset will evolve differently from what your parents have taught you till now.
As you grow through life, you will start:-
>> Making your own choices,
>> Taking your own decisions, and
In fact, you will have a belief system of your own.
So, then onwards, you can’t deal with your parents smoothly. It’s impossible because they will not understand the logic behind your decisions.
They will never accept why you are making those decisions. They will think of you as an insane person.
They will:-
>> Shout at you,
>> Stop you from taking decisions,
>> Fight with you more often,
>> Will make you feel miserable and worthless (Parents know all the tricks to overpower you).
We can’t say that your parents are at fault totally. They are trying to protect you and by the time they become overprotective, it becomes difficult for you to live with them. So, the only thing you can do is be true to yourself and mind it that don’t do or say anything that will make you feel embarrassed afterward.
Therefore, the wise man tricks to deal with the trauma from parents are:-
>> You should appreciate your own self.
>> Appreciate your parents.
>> Learn to appreciate your neighbors and everyone in society.
Moreover, just for making your life better, you should respect your parents and also respect everyone else whole heartedly. You will see that respect will come to you, back to you eventually.
Remember:
“ A pure heart always reaps the sweetest of fruits” – Manish Chaudhary
It is a myth that you expect your parents to understand you. Tell me:
# Who promised you that your parents will someday understand you??
# Who told you that parents in general should understand that children and vice-versa?
Did you get this idea in a dictionary or Wikipedia?
# Tell me from where did you get this expectation?
I am asking you this because you are not the only one with this problem. This is a very common problem in this whole wide world. In people of different languages, different races and different communities, the problem remains the same.
It actually happens a lot and supporting parents are very rare. Do you wanna know the definition of supporting parents?
# Who are called supporting parents?
Definition: Those parents who are excited about the idea of embracing the uniqueness of their children,
>> Parents who will let you make your own choices in life,
>> Parents who will allow you to pick the college and the career of your own choice,
>> Parents who know when to shut up and when to leave you alone and when to be close,
>> Parents who will never disown you if you choose to change your religion and
Lastly, parents who will truly understand your needs in life, this is the definition of supportive parents and these parents are very difficult to find.
You will often find that parents will never be on the same page with you.
Both parents and children have unrealistic expectations of each other and that is why the reason why they suffer so much in their life.
This is the reason why children have to gossip a lot with their friends about their relationship with their parents.
This all happens just because of the wrong expectations parents have.
Expectations such as,
>> That their children will not cause any problem,
>> That children will always obey,
>> Feeling that children will always understand them and
>> Their belief that the children will be on the same page when it comes to decision-making.
Moreover, the parents expect the children to be loyal and grateful members of their family and this is the reason for all kinds of hurt.
The best advice that I will give you is:
>> Always expect less and even better if you expect nothing.
>> Your life will change, almost immediately you will very soon learn that your expectations were the biggest obstacle in the path of your happiness and your peaceful life because :
“There is no path to happiness, happiness is the path”
I hate my parents because they don’t understand me. They don’t even want to listen to me. Can I disappear from them and start life elsewhere?
I got a text from a girl that my parents never understand me, they don’t want to listen to me, they always yell at me and shout at me. Today I didn’t have dinner because of my mum and dad because they kept shouting at me, all the time.
Now, I feel like I don’t belong here, I belong somewhere else.
I keep listening to the song “Somewhere I Belong by Linkin Park”
In my house, I feel like I am a maid. I am a servant and I am doing all the household work, without any payment.
I am not permitted to tell my end of the story and I feel like I have no right to live in my house.
It is very annoying for me even if I don’t do anything, they start shouting at me and sometime they will hit me.
I am only 13 years old and I wish that my parents would have understood me and just loved me like their own child.
I wish that they just loved me like my three elder brothers coz I am the only girl they have.
Ans: Remember this quote.
“Some people are Arse holes and some Arse holes become parents”.
You should understand this, very carefully that you are not at fault, not even a bit. It is the Expectations of a parent that are wrong. You came into this beautiful world when your parents came together and now when you are born, they should take full responsibility for your life.
They should treat you with love and care. Your parents are bound to fill your belly before their own.
It is not something out of the box, every parent does this. Every parent should do this. Every parent is bound to do this and this is the reality of the world.
After listening to your story I can very well say that your parents would always have been interested in a boy child. Your parents must be having some expectations from life. This same problem can be found very easily in this whole wide world.
I am very sad and it is a pity that you are dependent on your parents. If you are old enough you should start taking responsibility of own life because you should understand that “your life is your own responsibility and your happiness is your own responsibility”
“Your own happiness is your own choice” and no one can take your happiness away from you unless and until you are dependent on them.
Remember, if you are a child and still not earning but still you can take care of your body, take care of your health, take care of your mental thoughts.
Improve your habits like don’t spend too much time on the telephone, on WhatsApp, Facebook or Instagram, like most of the youth today.
Try and save your limited resource of energy, and use it to make your life even better.
You can give a second chance to yourself and a second thought to moving out of your parent’s total control.
You have to understand that you are dependent on them for everything and it would be a very big risk to take. Also the outside world, is not a very good place. It will deliver you into a trap for survival. You have to be aware of all those things.
But before taking any big decision, you should always think of your physical and mental security.
Secondly, you put yourself in your parent’s shoes. Think as a parent. Then, maybe you will find who is in the better situation right now, is it you? or is it them?
Sooner you will find out that your parents are doing the maximum they can do for you.
Rest, it is your own life, it is your own responsibility, you have to create the best out of what is given to you.
Please understand the basic principle of life
“If someone hurts you a lot, deceives you, causes you pain, makes you angry, then just try walking in that person’s shoes and you will find that same angry person will be 50 times more in pain and would need immediate help”
See, if your parents are scolding you, or they are harassing you, shouting at you, yelling at you, just think why are they doing this? Why are they acting like this?
If they are causing you pain, observe them and you will find out that they will be in more pain than you are right now.
And at that moment your anger will turn into pity for your parents and your hatred will turn into sympathy for them.
They are your parents, they brought you in this world and so they have a little bit of say in your life and you should respect that.
Maybe you are just looking at just your own part of the story.
My final advice to you would be:
Before taking any drastic decision keep someone in confidence, either your friend or someone who knows you closely. Maybe they can intervene in your personal life and save you from getting bigger harm.
>> You can change your sadness into a lifetime of happiness.
>> You can change it in a single snap of your hand.
Therefore, just wear a fake smile on your face always and you find out that your smile will turn into a real one and you will feel good and Happy all the time in your life.
This is because:-
“a smile is a curve that sets everything straight”
And your best smile is the biggest punishment for all those people who hate you and are jealous of you.
You will start feeling happier than ever and this is the “secret ingredient” that was missing from your life.
