“Your worth can never be determined by others. People not giving you the credit that you deserve is always their loss. You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone” Mind that feeling useless and feeling worthless are just social projections, the burden of society on you, so you should never feel so useless.
“Considering yourself worthless is a defense against emotional pain”
Life is like a sandbox. You have to learn to play in the sandbox, like when you were kids and remember that in the end what remains is just the scattered sand all over.
All the castles you have built over your lifetime, all your houses, all you have created in life, everything is like sand.
And remember that if anything is built out of sand, it won’t survive the rainwater and furious winds of life.
Hope you understand and relate this to your real life.
Why do I feel so useless as a human being?
Believe me that one day your own life is going to end and everything you have built or created won’t be of any use to you. None of your Castles will survive the wind and furious weather or maybe there is a possibility that while you are alive, some other kid may come along and take down your Castle.
Anything can happen here because life is uncertain.
The only thing you can do is, first of all:-
>> Understand all the laws of the universe >> then accept them without any expectations and after that, you can pay your respect and express your gratitude for every blessing of the almighty.
“Believe in your heart that you are meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic and miracles”
If you get up in the morning to breathe fresh air and find that you are given a chance to live one more day then you must be thankful. This is a “more than enough” reason to express gratitude all your life.
You’re here to play in this particular sandbox. Eventually, that suit of yours (your body) will wear out one day and your life here on earth will be over.
What happens next is for the poets, the prophets, the philosophers, and the dreamers.
All you can worry about is “Right Now”. The present moment!
“Yoga takes you into the present moment, the only place where life exists” – Patanjali.
Just live your life make all the best possible choices you can with the information you have and just keep moving because life goes on.
Understand the laws of the universe and make the right choice every time.
If somehow, you make a bad turn make a course correction and just move on.
If you still feel worthless, then quick check on your physical self because you could possibly have the best of all reasons in the world to be happy and rejoice but if your brain chemistry is damaged i.e. There is a problem with your mental health then you will still feel horrible all the time.
Find it out and rectify it as soon as possible. Seek medical help, find out a psychologist to help you or anyone whom you think can counsel you best.
After doing all this, still, if you are feeling the same then I am very, very sorry for you and I hope that you find relief as soon as possible. Blessings!
A lot of time I get a question how do I feel worthy? How can I become more worthy? How can I make myself worthy?
Ans is. You can stop feeling unworthy if you do this:
>> Never compare yourself with others.
>> Always appreciate the achievements of others.
>> Never criticize other’s success, join them and have a blast.
>> Make new friends, keep it fresh.
>> Stop criticizing yourself.
>> Completely stop self-sabotage.
>> Accept that everyone is unique and they have their own way of doing things.
>> Live to serve, serve to live.
>> Accept everything and expect nothing.
Qn: I feel like I can’t do it anymore. I know I’m a bit young to say this, but I really can’t do it anymore. Why am I feeling like this?
Is it that you did something in your past and then you were “heavily cursed” by your friends in family and after that lured you into shame! Is it?
This is because shame is a very strong bad feeling. Shame is used by over-smart people as a punishment tool for disappointing someone else and later manipulating their actions.
Shame is a socially useful manipulation. If they want to get some things done by you, they will make you feel the shame and somehow, hurt your prestige and then they will have control on your life, on your body (controlling your actions).
People will shame you and gain control on you and then use you according to their own interests.
In all the offices, the managers are deliberately trained with this technique to get maximum output from their team.
They will threat you and always give you a feeling that you will lose something if you don’t perform as expected. Your fear of losing the job will force you to do hard labor to give good results.
“When people hurt you over and over, think of them as sandpaper. They scratch and hurt you. But later you will be shining and polished and they end up useless”
Many people you encounter in life will be having narcissistic behavior. They will never show you mercy, your personal life problems will never matter to them. So my advice to you will be “stay away from such people”, if you want to experience peace and happiness” ever in life.
Everyone you deal with is in the Shame business – your parents, your teachers, your boss, your friends, even the strangers. And the list does not stop here, the advertisements on TV use “shame” to get you to buy products, ring a bell! ? Also, the politicians couldn’t be left aside, as they use it to get votes in favor.
“Shame is a form of social control and is used to control Other’s life”.
Example: when your parents tell you: if you do this, we all will be disappointed. And then the fear of shame controls your life. And then your actions get manipulated accordingly. Understand now?
You see it everywhere around, but never bother to give it a second thought.
Some people prefer to walk in line like the “herd of sheep”
If we deeply observe, we find out that “shame” does not exist in nature. We, humans, have brain and intelligence and we have put in so much effort to understand the shame that now we can’t get over it.
We have now accepted “shame” as socially credible and given it a much-respected place in our life.
We carry “Shame” with confidence, in our wallets everywhere we go.
But if we observe nature, just think do the animal’s practice Shame? Or are there any social controls in the forest, among the animals? Do the animals dignify themselves with their social belongings? The animals do not even care about their social standing.
The lions, the tiger, and the Bear. Do they really care about their social standing, or do they keep wondering in the forest thinking whether their life has some meaning or purpose to fulfill?
Do the animals and plants spend their life hating themselves and feeling sorry for their life? or do they live in tandem with nature, accept the plan of the infinite intelligence and thrive for survival? Because, that is what they are created for.
“Know that you are worthy, never settle for anything less”.
Someone who is worthy of your love will never put you in a situation where you feel you must sacrifice your dignity, your integrity or your self-worth to be with them”
Qn: What to do when you are completely useless? What to do when you feel completely worthless? People even ask me that, why am i so useless as a human being?
The feeling of worthlessness is not exactly coming from deep inside you. This feeling is a social projection.
I want to say that these feelings are put inside you, just to manipulate your actions so that you could be of more use to someone else.
Feelings of being unworthy are not real, they are fake. These feelings will terribly hurt you, but these are not going to be with you forever.
If you have the habit of getting approval from others, you will definitely fall into this trap.
In life, you can only be judged and approved by your office mates or by the family members, or by the group of friends you hang out with.
There lies a power within you that you have not discovered yet. You were always forced to stand alone and face all the troubles by yourself. Did this happen to you? Then you should understand below for sure. It’s a little deep, but understand it for sure coz it will soothe your entire journey of life.
There is one Law in the Universe that if the almighty wants to teach you something he will put you through a series of tests and unless and until you finish that lesson “with a distinction” and successfully reap your learning, you are not going come out of that chapter in your life.
The tests (from the almighty) will never stop until you surrender to the learning and accept your fate. If you somehow try to evade the situation, then the lesson might get more stringent, more worse and painful.
The situation will be different but the lesson will be the same.
Finally, the same learning will repeat again and again, till the plan of God, ultimately succeeds.
Experts say that any situation that comes in front of you is perfectly designed, its fate is already pre-decided.
You have to learn from it and somehow you have to change the way you think and live.
You have to accept the learning, you have to surrender your ignorance, you have to learn to appreciate the blessings in learning, then and only then you will get out of it. Please understand it very carefully.
This is the only way out, don’t fight it, don’t try to evade it, do not suppress it and just embrace it.
Just understand that you are a lot more worthy than you think you are. You deserve a lot more appreciation in life.
Remember that you are a human being with a brain, which is priceless. You just have to activate the right corners of your brain and continue with your life.
You have to take control of your mind and learn discipline because
“A mind is a wonderful servant and a terrible master”
If you discipline yourself, life will become easier to deal with. You need proper directions to use your brain, you need a mentor who can give you correct guidance.
In the Holy Bible it is written that “knock and the door will be opened to you”, “seek and you will find it” discover yourself” because:
“Life is not about finding yourself, it’s about creating yourself”
“Considering yourself worthless is a defense against emotional pain”
People usually feel this emotion when they feel that they have failed against other’s expectations of them.
Now, this is a strategy that if you fail in meeting someone else’s expectations, there are two main strategies to deal with it,
>> One is, trying harder and eventually meeting their expectations and
>> The other one is reducing your self-worth and capability to the point where you don’t feel guilty.
Qn: What things or situations usually make you feel useless and unable to do things right? What should I do when I feel I am useless?
The problem with reducing your self-worth is that you reduce your sense of life to feel more comfortable with your level of accomplishment.
But, it is usually accompanied by “shame”
Shame here is a very nasty emotion.
The “shame” builds on itself.
When you feel shame for reducing your expectations of yourself then you feel strong emotional pain and start feeling unworthy.
After that, you reduce your expectations again and incrementally.
Now you have disappointed yourself, but you know that it doesn’t matter because you are not worth that much anyway.
But then you know that it’s a kind of lie and then you again, shame yourself for lying to own self. Please understand it carefully, I may make your life happier.
Ultimately, you feel much worse and reduce your sense of worth furthermore.
Now, you can very well see how this becomes an endless cycle of a worthlessness piled on top of another worthlessness.
If you can’t stop this pattern, it will often turn into serious depression and sometimes it may lead to suicidal tendencies and it may become a very serious problem.
If you do not find a way to stop it somehow, then there are a number of strategies to come out of it. The one I tried for myself is mindfulness to start feeling worthy.
I realized that I was overthinking. People expected a lot more out of me and then I found myself worthless because I couldn’t meet those expectations.
Somehow how I found myself in a place where my solution was to stop judging myself every time I did anything.
Solution = Stop Judging your own self.
It was to accept myself as I am and just to stop living up to the expectations of others and leave the habit of social stand and social acceptance to start feeling worthy.
“Stop judging, Start Loving”
I had to learn to say “no” in most cases. It took time to build these habits in me, but let me tell you that these habits are a gold mine in my life, till date.
If you need any kind of answers, just comment below your question and you will get a solution in reply. Also, you can email me.
Sometimes we think that if we live or die it won’t affect anyone but we are totally wrong.
If we die somehow, it will affect every loved one in a very bad way, let me give you an example:
There was a time my girl broke up with me, I was feeling so emotional. I felt like dying every hour and thought that I have lost everything in this world.
I just wanted to go out of my house. There was just one thing in my mind that if I die, it will all be over and anyways my death won’t affect anybody as I felt my life was of no use and also, I was not having very good relations with my family.
So, I just wanted to go away from home but suddenly my mom started crying and she just wanted me to stay. But somehow I went away, when I agreed to call her after every hour. I went to my friend’s house straight away, switched off my phone and cried a lot till 4am in morning.
Then I thought that everyone would be asleep and enjoying the relaxing time of their life and I decided to switch on my phone.
As soon as I activated my phone, at that very moment I got a call from my mum. She sounded very frightened and anxious and just wanted to hear my voice and know that I was all right.
And that was the moment I realized that my life was very special for my family, for my mother and the loss of my life would have impacted everyone adversely.
That was a time I realized that I am special, but if I consider your case where you strongly explain that you feel worthless and idiotic. I am very sorry to say, but here I strongly believe that you must be lacking self-love and may find it very hard to respect yourself.
Tell me, dear, if you don’t love yourself how you can expect others to love you.
“People may say bad things about you, but you should never speak bad things about yourself”
First of all, heal yourself. Keep the least expectations in life. Be grateful for all the blessings you have received till now. Just be grateful for whoever you are, whatever you do and if still there are things in your life that you don’t like then take a stand and change those things.
But, if you are unable to change those things even after repeated effort,s then just accept them as it is and change your attitude towards them effectively.
“if you don’t like it, change it
if you can’t change it, then change yourself” and start feeling confident in life.
>> If you want to get out of this try to spend your time with people who are truly your well-wishers and those who have a positive attitude towards life.
>> Remember that you are the average of 5 people you spend the time most with. Therefore, try to find a tribe of like-minded people.
>> Try to spend more of your time with optimistic people and learn from them.
Another effective way to get out of this trauma and heal yourself is to start reading self-help books.
Find your likings, find the thoughts that you like and hold onto them “today, tomorrow and forever”.
This technique is very important because now, 24/7 we stick our minds to the social media feed,
>> Watching funny video reels,
>> Stressful videos,
>> Shocking videos and shuffling all of them in a span of seconds.
Our mind is not designed to process multiple variety of information in such a short span of time, and so it created confusion and stress.
Finally, if you want to feel blissful and if you want to be happy then do as I say:
>> Stick to some carefully chosen optimistic, positive thoughts,
>> Read self-help books,
>> Talk and spend more time with a positive mindset.
“There is a power in positivity to heal your soul”
>> Find the thoughts of your liking, affirm them and just hold on to them. Repeat your affirmations whenever you get time. Maybe, in the morning, during the afternoon, in the evening, or at night before sleeping.
Just make it a habit to live your chosen positive thoughts most of the time in the day.
>> Cultivate a beautiful mindset and add a sweet flavor to your life.
You feel exhausted because you are using your energy in all the wrong places. You need responsibilities, you need people in your life that motivate you and appreciate your work.
And when you are surrounded by the right people and the right environment, and then you will start feeling happy in everything you do. Furthermore, every step you take will be like your precious asset towards everlasting bliss.
You have to change the way you think, the way you assume things, you have to stop judging and you have to feel and believe that everyone is really worthy.
Qn: How to stop feeling useless? How to stop feeling worthless.? What do I do when I feel I am useless?
Find a work that makes you happy and a work that would solve the problems of many.
>> Just visualize your end results.
>> Focus on the task at hand.
When you have a work that you want to pursue passionately, then life becomes meaningful.
Remember, all the obstacles you are facing right now is a test that is being conducted by God himself.
The Almighty always allows problems to make you stronger and live longer, so you should also be grateful to encounter difficult things in life. It’s all a mind game.
Don’t give anyone else the power to decide your worth. Just find your passion, work on it and let no one interfere.
“Always Protect your Thoughts”
In this fas- growing and the rapidly moving world we have to:
>> Take utmost care of our lives,
>> We have to love and laugh to succeed in every walk of life.
>> Be grateful that you still breathe,
>> Be grateful for everything you have because out there, are billions of people who don’t even get enough food to eat 3 times a day.
Life is a blessing, live it, love it and keep it that way.